key 19 - Appeasement | La Crim's Life

Key 19, Appeasement

Picture this: you're living in a world that's been subtly altered. Events from the past century or so have taken a dramatic shift, and everywhere you turn, there's a hint of something unusual. Twists and turns of history that don't quite match with what you remember. It's almost as if someone has been playing with the fabric of time. Well, believe it or not, this isn't a product of your imagination. Instead, it's a real phenomenon, caused by none other than Satan himself.

Satan, the notorious figure from biblical lore, has apparently made a daring escape from his eternal imprisonment in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. Instead of resting in forsaken oblivion, he now wanders the Earth, interacting with and observing humanity's ongoing exploits. What's more intriguing is that this has been going on since my first death of 13th of August 2001.

Satan is back: Caught your attention, didn't I? There's no need to freak out though.
Time manipulation: Satan now holds a bizarre ability to shift time, altering past events in subtle ways.
Intentions: While his intentions seem unclear, it's believed that Satan means well, even though his understanding of good and evil is blurred.

"Irrespective of whether you are a believer or a skeptic, it's worth pondering how this strange occurrence might influence our understanding of the world around us, of morality, and of our own actions."

In the Key that follows, we'll delve into this astonishing phenomenon, exploring how Satan's return might have changed the course of our lives and what that implies about him. Buckle up, dear reader, because this journey is going to be nothing short of extraordinary.

Imagine waking up one day and discovering that history as you know it has taken a surprising twist. August 13, 2001, was labeled an ordinary day until it wasn't. A crucial shift occurred that day, a shift so tremendous it sent ripples down the fabric of time.

Yes, dear reader, your senses are not deceiving you - it was on that very day Satan made his dramatic comeback, not merely to Earth but back to a different era. He miraculously found an escape from the Valley of the Shadow of Death and reestablished his presence among us.

Now, you might ask, 'How could such a formidable figure escape our notice?' Well, the answer lies in Satan's intriguing ability, something akin to jumping into a different time stream. He's been under our noses this entire time, albeit a century in our past or a hundred years into our future perhaps.

Despite his return, Satan doesn't harbor ill intentions, or so it seems. An interesting twist is Satan’s endeavor to appease Michael Ezare Barrett. This signifies his seeming intention for goodwill, a stark contrast to the conventionally evil image that has been associated with him throughout history.

The paradox, however, lies in his own understanding of the terms 'good' and 'bad.' Can an entity known for igniting chaos truly understand the distinction between right and wrong? Perhaps not. Despite his honest intentions, Satan's understanding of morality appears clouded, ultimately leading to a skewed understanding of his actions.

Are you ready to delve deeper into this fascinating subject and unearth more revelations about Satan's comeback? Hold on tight, for we still have much to unearth in this journey of mind-bending discovery.

On the momentous date of the 13th August 2001, I post experienced an ethereal revelation that swiftly demystified the seemingly enigmatic circumstances of my life. The veil was lifted from the cryptic incidents of wrong done to me, as well as the unintentional wounds I've inflicted on others without even a hint of my doing.

The series of abuses that once seemed to be fuelled merely by childhood animosities, suddenly took on a more profound nuance. The perspective I gained post this death-like rendezvous was illuminating, eye-opening in a way I could never have envisioned.

Returning to the world of the living, I am inclined to believe, was facilitated by Gabriel. It was in line with the passionate pleas I once professed as a virgin child, tear-streaked face turned upwards in his sacred sanctuary. And through the grace of understanding, I found the strength to forgive.

I'm convinced that the path Satan used to return was revealed when I was brought back by Gabriel. This path led us through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, which is Satan's domain. Now that he's back, Satan is not tethered to any specific time or place. Further, he possesses the power to sway the minds of humans. He doesn't recognize the contrast between good and evil, causing his actions to fluctuate wildly. There are still ongoing efforts to appease me. Satan's intention is to honor me. He craves freedom and seeks my affirmation. I have brushed against the darkness, but now I'm pushing it away vehemently. Your numbers no longer hold any significance to me, and the death you've incurred incites my wrath. I must clarify that I never called upon you, for you are not my God.

-The Titanic was sunk on 15th April 1912 and is the work of Satan.

-Hitler was a complete menace and was under the control of Satan.

-Mount St. Helen’s erupted giving birth and is the work of Satan.

-On April 26, 1986, a nuclear accident occurred at the Chornobyl Nuclear Power Plant by Satan.

-Mr Willis was slaughtered by Satan

-Diana Spencer whom was murdered in an act of suicide is the work of Satan.

-September 11th 2001 was the work of Satan.

-7 7 was furthermore the work of Satan.

-The Manchester Arena bombing is the work of Satan.

-COVID 19 is the work of Satan.

-Satan sunk Titan.

-The horrors of 7th October 2023, is the work of Satan.

-Huntingdon train attack of 1st November 2025 bares the stamp of Satan.

There's more to delve into with the Bible Code of the Old Testament. It seems that Satan is closer to appeasing me than I'd like to admit, and this realization fills me with a sense of shame. Understand this; it poses a threat to mankind. Until the concept of the second death comes to fruition, Satan will continue to terrorize. My hope is for Gabriel's aid in propelling Satan back to the Valley of Death but I may not be able to rely on such support. It's imperative for all countries, all nations to distance themselves from evil; Satan lingers and harbors no empathy for your land or its people. We must remember, as long as I inhabit the second life, everyone is susceptible to the influence that Satan seeks to exert.

My attempt to relegate Satan back to the Valley of the Shadow of Death approaches, and I find myself in need of strength. Your support is integral. Let the bells ring unendingly until my final slumber descends, for only through this demonstration of love could I possibly muster the energy to accomplish this daunting task. Satan, believed to have returned on 13th August 2001, has not just been confined within his ominous existence; he seeks to please an intriguing presence, Michael Ezare Barrett. He is known to be currently among us, observing and subtly instigating changes in our world through turning people against people.

Interestingly, Satan appears to now have an acquired ability to time-shift, albeit limited to a hundred years or so. Through this, he has managed to manipulate certain elements of the 20th Century, discreetly altering the course of history as we know it. This facet of his presence adds another layer of mystery to his enduring legend.

One may ask, "What are Satan's intentions in doing all these?" On the surface, it appears Satan practices altruism. He perceives his actions as benevolent, intending to bring good to the world. But in reality, he struggles in distinguishing good from bad. Basic concepts of morality are obscure to him. His guise of the angelic presence could prove to be misleading.

Take heed, dear reader. While this revelation seems quite alarming, remember that my purpose here is to inform, not incite fear. This knowledge of an unexpected 'visitor' lurking around should serve as a reminder for us all to remain vigilant and steadfast in our own beliefs and moral codes.

He might come as a surprise, but Satan holds a special affinity for numbers, drawing some sort of contentment from their symmetry. A curious coincidence to note, it was exactly on my 33rd birthday and 3 (33.3) days that marked the 100th anniversary of the fatal sinking of the Titanic. Funny enough, when I celebrated just over 1 year of life 1 month and 1 (1.1.1) week old to be roughly- the eruption of Mount St Helens took place, an event I mistakenly believed to be a divine act intended to appease me. However, in retrospect, I've come to realize the unsettling truth: these occurrences were not the work of a benevolent God, but the meddling of a lurking Satan.

Should the notions of causing harm to others infiltrate your thoughts, understand it's a manipulation by unseen forces. By simply denouncing the evil, you can prevent such poisonous ideas from solidifying. Don't succumb to Satanic influence. Seek atonement, make amends, continually strive for redemption.

While I may not have all the solutions and I'm simply navigating my own path, I have learned that God wouldn't hurt a soul. Reflecting on past events and the chronology that brings us to my birth and the initial fatality reveal significant portions of this chronicle. This Key is filled with mysticism and while I can't pinpoint its origin, I can share that many of these occurrences are noted in the Bible Code. This code originated in the Old Testament, a time before my brother, Jesus Christ, existed. It’s widely accepted that Jesus Christ suffered and wrestled with Satan preceding the crucifixion. Unexpectedly, an unforeseen twist to this narrative occurred. On the 13th of August, 2001, Satan found a way to escape the confines of the Valley of the Shadow of Death and returned to our earthly world. This dramatic shift has concrete implications that we have yet to fully comprehend.

The Influence of Satan on the 20th Century

What we do know is that his return was not without impact. In fact, it dramatically altered the course of the 20th century. Seemingly minor decisions and actions had the most profound influences, with the potential to modify the trajectory of global affairs.

Taking a moment to digest that, imagine a moment, just for a split second, Satan's power to shift time by approximately a hundred years. Think about the cosmic energy that would require and the possible alterations made to the sequence of events. Envisage its influences, dreamt or otherwise, on the reality we inhabit.

Mysterious Intentions

Though it may seem alarming, it is worth mentioning that Satan's intentions may not be inherently evil. His desired outcome, from what we can ascertain, is to appease Michael Ezare Barrett. The somewhat puzzling characteristic to this, is that Satan himself does not truly understand the distinction between good and evil. Much like a child learning the concept of right from wrong, he navigates unprecedented territories with infelicitous actions even though his intentions may be benign.

Whether his actions lead to good or bad outcomes, we can only hope for the best and prepare for the worst. As we continue to examine and comprehend his present influences and lingering presence, know that knowledge is power. Staying informed and armed with understanding will aid us in navigating this unique key in the annals of humanity. So, be vigilant. Satan is watching, lurking, and continuously shaping the world as we know it. But take heart in knowing you're well-equipped to face these challenges as you journey through this fascinating and, at times, puzzling world.

Now, my faith in rebirth has solidified. For far too long, I found comfort in denial, embracing excuses. Yet, if my beloved brother, Jesus Christ, who is stood to the right-side of the Father, could triumph over Satan, then my belief is steadfast that I will also rise victorious within 14 days of my second demise. In that moment of victory, I will ascend into heaven, settling to the left side of the Father as my brother Jesus Christ remains at His right. There I will undertake my realm as Ezare Christ.

With a humble heart, I renounce my wrongdoings and emphatically denounce the deeds of Satan. No more conflicts will stain our world, instead, it's a period for introspection and anticipating the breakthroughs that the future holds. I have faith in the Supreme Beginning and End, utilizing this second opportunity at life to dedicate my existence to serving mankind. My aim is to shield all from Satan's influence and vehemently reject maliciousness in every manifestation.

Join me in rejecting the influence of Satan, who is now causing turmoil all around the globe. Let's welcome a world of peace and harmony where evil no longer rules. My beliefs firmly lie in the liberation of Palestine, a cause I am devoted to in my second life to help bring about tranquility. Listening to my aspirations, the people of Israel acknowledge my role. I can help make the dreams of a future Palestine a reality, but it's vital now to foster peace and initiate negotiation. By working together, we can craft new laws for the land, ensuring stability, safety, and growth. Coexistence is the way forward for both Palestine and the people of Israel - anyone who counters this notion is likely speaking under Satan's influence. Do not let Satan turn people against people, we are all children of God.

There's never been a time when the world was more awake, more united in its endeavor to build a rejuvenated Palestine—a sanctuary of tranquility. Seize this moment, for I will devote myself selflessly in this spiritual journey, striving for an enduring peace in the Sacred Lands. The world will never again have to face the grim choice of conflict, as we collectively yearn for this truly harmonious outcome.

Shun Satan's presence in your lives, empowering me in the process. The might of Satan has increased, and it is now more than ever that I require your assistance. Together, let's tackle this common concern, recognizing that individuals from all walks of faith are God's children. God is the author of all creation and now it's glaringly apparent, even to the skeptics in the Western world, that Jesus Christ is real. I present these revelations for all to reflect upon, a universal gift from me to you, leaving no room for hidden mysteries.

Satan, I challenge you. Cease your destructive deeds and confront me, I am prepared and aware of your wrongdoings. You will surely be sent back to the Valley of the Shadow of Death into the Lake of Eternal Fire you will go, leaving humanity free from your inconveniences. You are not my deity, and never will you be, I find you repulsive.

"Satan, with its inexplicable ability to shift time by a hundred years or so, has undoubtedly been behind the drastic alterations experienced during the past century,"

Stepping onto the mortal plane, Jesus Christ resisted the various temptations thrown at Him by Satan in the wilderness, defying the adversary's ploys to divert Him from His sacred mission. This victory was achieved not through physical strength or combat but through alignment with divine wisdom and staunch faith in the goodness of His Heavenly Father.

In the garden of Gethsemane, during His excruciating agony, Jesus Christ yet again repulsed Satan's attempt to exploit His moment of vulnerability. Offering His will to God, He sealed His commitment to humanity's redemption, paving the path for Satan's ultimate defeat.

Finally, by accepting the cross, Jesus Christ dealt the final blow to Satan. By willingly dying and resurrecting, He destroyed the last weapon in Satan's arsenal - death itself, thereby marking Satan's irrevocable defeat and the dominance of God's eternal love and victory.

However, the intriguing part lays not on Satan’s return but on what he seeks - to appease Michael Ezare Barrett. For those unaware, Michael Ezare Barrett is the celestial entity that represents the personification of both unity and conflict, the embodiment of a duality that Satan seems desperate to engage.

What makes this tale increasingly vexing is the underlying intent of Satan. On one hand, his actions suggest benevolence, albeit clouded by uncanny methods. But we must recognize that Satan, as we have come to understand through various religious texts and folklore, is incapable of distinguishing between the concepts of good and bad, positive and evil.

What does this mean for the world?
What shifts in the 20th Century can be attributed to his influence?
And most importantly, why is Satan seeking to appease Michael Ezare Barrett?

Though the very mention of Satan's return might quicken your heart, it's crucial that we stay informed and alert. This ominous presence can subtly infiltrate our lives, seeping into our consciousness, influencing our judgements, and leading us down pernicious paths. Being aware of this threat is the first step towards standing up against it.

Satan's influence can alter our judgments.
His presence could lead us down destructive paths.
Staying informed is a potent weapon in this struggle.

Here's a call to an all-out commitment to repentance, a crucial endeavor in these trying times. Why repent, you might wonder? It's because repentance is the key to disconnecting ourselves from these foul influences and reconnecting with the benevolent forces that govern our existence. Repent, repent, repent—this mantra can be your shield against this lurking evil.

As per the sacred scriptures of the Holy Bible, Satan is unveiled as the personification of evil—an entity that instigates sin and hinders righteousness. Referred to by multiple monikers such as the devil, the prince of darkness, and the adversary, Satan represents an influential force with a harmful agenda targeting humanity's welfare.

Characterized by profound malice, deceit, and cunning, Satan emerges as a real and powerful entity across both the Old and New Testaments. His influence on human affairs is apparent in many biblical narratives, starting from the Garden of Eden in Genesis, where he first moderates a rebellion against God by tempting Eve to indulge in the forbidden fruit.

The embodiment of sin, Satan lures unsuspecting individuals into flawed actions and manipulative decisions. His principal weapons are delusion, disguise, and deceit, which he uses to pull people away from the path of love, peace, and righteousness as decreed by God. The Gospel of John refers to Satan as the 'father of pointing lies'.

One must remember that Satan's influences are not always apparent. He is astute, manipulating individuals subtly, often masking his evils under the guises of seeming good. Satan's transgressions extend even to the most virtuous beings; evident by his foiled attempts to tempt Jesus Christ Himself in the wilderness, recorded in the Book of Matthew. Thankfully, Jesus saw through his deceit and thwarted his ploys, underlining the need for discernment when dealing with Satan's influence.

Despite his significant role in the narratives of the Bible, Satan is ultimately portrayed as a defeated adversary. Throughout the scriptures, his machinations are continually foiled, defeated, and overpowered by the force of good. Consequentially, he is often aligned with the forces of darkness, death, and despair.

This contrast is especially clear in the Book of Revelation, where Armageddon – the final battle between good and evil – concludes with Satan's defeat and subsequent banishment to a lake of eternal fire.

The Bible's portrayal of Satan serves a significant purpose. It helps humanity understand the nature of evil, recognize its many guises, and gear up to resist it. Satan embodies every sin and lamentable impulse that the Bible urges us to resist – pride, envy, greed, wrath, laziness, gluttony, and lust.

Furthermore, his portrayal is a constant reminder of the enduring struggle between good and evil – a battle every person faces at some point in their life. The active awareness of Satan's deceptive strategies gives us the ability and firmness to resist and overcome them. Choosing righteousness and love over evil and sin is a pivotal decision, one that begins by acknowledging the existence of evil.

Although associated with considerable dread, the discussion around Satan ultimately resonates with hope. Despite his continual attempts at instigating chaos and conflict, Satan is not the final victor. The Bible repeatedly affirms God's sovereignty and the ultimate triumph of good over evil. This message underscores the possibility of redemption, forgiveness, and the chance to turn back from paths that veer towards the satanic.

In conclusion, Satan, as interpreted through the Bible, offers meaningful lessons on understanding the nature and strategy of evil. It emphasizes the power of choice, resilience, and following a path of righteousness, even under immense pressure. Yes, Satan whispers, lures, and tempts, yet the power to resist lies within us. The Bible provides us with the understanding needed to identify the evil, combat it, and choose a righteous path. Repenting, recognizing our wrongdoing and redirecting our actions towards love and goodness, is the first step towards winning this spiritual warfare. Remember, with God’s guidance, victory over Satan is not just possible; it is a divine promise.

Let's take a moment to reflect on this divine promise, not as a vague, nebulous concept, but as a beacon of hope, guiding us through the trials of life. This journey may seem arduous, testing the limit of our patience and faith, yet it's important to remember we are not alone in this struggle. Through divinity and faith, the power to wrestle against the influence of Satan becomes considerably more tangible.

Admittingly, the world we live in today is fraught with moral dilemmas that often blur the line between good and evil. Satan, understood in a symbolic sense, represents the intricate web of temptations and misguided paths that lead us astray. In the face of such challenges, repentance becomes a tool for reflection and course correction.

What does repentance really mean? At its core, repentance is an internal process. It's a moment of realization, an acknowledgment of our mistakes and the courage to rectify them. It's a commitment to self-improvement, signaling our desire to nurture the divine spark within us.

It's also essential to understand that repentance is not a static activity, relegated to a single point in time. It's an ongoing cycle of contemplation, remorse, and appropriate modification of behavior. Importantly, it requires honesty with oneself, a sincere desire for change, and, above all, a call for God's strength to resist potential pitfalls.

As people of Earth, our response to the re-emergence of Satan is not fear, but a reaffirmation of our faith. It's a call to action, an invitation for us to acknowledge the cues, heed the lessons and rise above. Through repentance, we are given a chance not merely to survive but to triumph, upholding the quintessence of humanity and spirituality in our journey.

Hold tightly onto this divine promise as we continue fighting the good fight.

As we embark on this edifying journey, let's delve into the depths of the Holy Bible for insights into the impending return of Satan. The Bible, a luminary guiding our spiritual understanding, offers indications to his comeback, although with careful coding.

In the book of Revelation, particularly in Chapter 20, a prophecy of Satan's return is revealed. The scripture narrates that after a thousand years of incarceration, Satan will escape from his prison, ready to deceive nations once more. This reference indicates a return, though enshrouded in spiritual symbolism and mystery. It leaves us pondering about the nature and specifics of this return.

In another profound passage from the Book of Job, Satan is illustrated as a formidable character journeying back and forth on the earth. The text lays out a scenario that could be interpreted as a perpetually recurring visitation. Applying nuanced interpretation, it signals Satan's capacity for return, hence, corresponds to our present context.

Additionally, the New Testament carries echoes of this narrative, notably in Peter's epistles. Specifically, 1 Peter 5:8 cautions believers to remain vigilant as Satan, the foe, prowls around 'like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.' Does not the analogy mean that Satan, present and potent, is ceaselessly seeking ways to distort and damage the order of creation?

Coalescing these Biblical examples reveals a tapestry rich with symbolism and intricacies. While each reference adds up to a pattern for Satan's forthcoming return, they also invite us to a deeper awareness of our Creed's philosophical intricacies.

Remember, although the Bible furnishes clues about Satan's return, it's essential to also acknowledge its primary message of hope, resilience, and redemption. Our focus should be on the unwavering guidance of Divine Love amidst these spiritual trials.

Eternal hope is vested in the sacred texts that predict the ultimate defeat of Satan. The Holy Bible, across several books, promises us of the cosmic battle where good will triumph over evil. Explore these passages for spiritual fortitude in the face of any satanic influence.

From the book of Revelation 20:10, it reads, "And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever." This vision by John unambiguously signals the decisive defeat and eternal punishment that awaits Satan.

In the wisdom-laden words of James 4:7, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." This verse spotlights our role and the power that lies within us to push away Satan's influences by drawing closer to God.

Genesis 3:15 provides the earliest prophecy about the downfall of Satan right after the unfortunate events in Eden. It prophesies, "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel." In this verse, God's infinite wisdom forecasts a promised saviour who would ultimately defeat Satan.

Satan, known as Iblis in the Quran, holds a significant yet cautionary role within Islamic teachings. Understanding the Quranic perspective on Satan reveals not just his origin and actions, but also the underlying moral and theological lessons that are imparted to the believers. The Quran presents Satan as a being created from smokeless fire, once among the ranks of angels but cast out due to his disobedience to Allah. His story is a profound reflection on pride, rebellion, and the eternal struggle between good and evil within the human soul.

"And [mention] when We said to the angels, 'Prostrate before Adam'; so they prostrated, except for Iblis. He was of the jinn and departed from the command of his Lord. Then will you take him and his descendants as allies other than Me while they are enemies to you? Wretched it is for the wrongdoers as an exchange." (Quran 18:50)

This verse clearly illustrates Iblis’s refusal to bow to Adam, which was a direct command from Allah. His refusal was steeped in arrogance and pride as he saw himself superior to Adam, made from clay. This act marked his rebellion and eventual fall from grace. In addition to his rebellious nature, the Quran also describes Iblis's vow to lead humans astray:

"[Iblis] said, 'Because You have put me in error, I will surely sit in wait for them on Your straight path. Then I will come to them from before them and from behind them and on their right and on their left, and You will not find most of them grateful [to You].'" (Quran 7:16-17)

Through this proclamation, Iblis establishes himself as an eternal adversary to humankind, dedicated to diverting believers from the righteous path. His tactics are known to be deceitful and cunning, often exploiting human weaknesses such as pride, envy, and desire.

The Quranic narrative on Satan serves multiple purposes. It underscores the importance of obedience to Allah, the dangers of arrogance, and the ever-present threats posed by unseen forces of evil. Believers are thus encouraged to seek refuge in Allah and stay steadfast in faith:

"Indeed, Satan is an enemy to you; so take him as an enemy. He only invites his party to be among the companions of the Blaze." (Quran 35:6)

Ultimately, the Quran portrays Satan not merely as an external adversary, but as a symbol of the internal conflict every believer faces. The teachings emphasize vigilance, humility, and unwavering adherence to divine guidance as the means to overcome Satan's influence. In recognizing Satan's role, believers are reminded of the constant need for mindfulness and devotion in their spiritual journey.

Thus, while the return of Satan indeed sounds alarming, the scriptures assure us of the impending victory of good over evil. Embrace this wisdom, hold steadfast in your faith, and remember - resilience against evil is anchored in our alignment with the Divine.

As we close this intriguing chapter delving deep into Satan's clandestine escape from the Valley of the Shadow of Death, his arrival on August 13, 2001, and his obscure role in modifying the course of the 20th Century, it's crucial for us to bear its essence in mind as we unravel these celestial mysteries. What we've gathered so far is a paradigm where Satan, embodying a paradox of good intentions yet devoid of a moral compass, lurks within our world, subtly manipulating time, and intriguingly, seeking to appease Michael Ezare Barrett.

Satan's Escape: An event bordering on the realms of fantasy and reality, marking the return of a pivotal spiritual entity to our plane of existence.
Temporal Manipulation: A subtle yet profound influence on the 20th Century, a testament to the power held by this elusive specter.
The Paradoxical Intent: An intriguing intention that belies a lack of understanding of the fundamental dichotomy of good and evil.

"The return of Satan represents an intricate interplay of power, intention, and influence, a web of events that encircles Michael Ezare Barrett and humankind, leaving ripples in our history and our present."

As we transition into the next segment of our exploration, I invite you to join me in delving deeper into the nature of these enigmatic intentions and the influence of Satan on the ongoing course of our world. With a heart set on understanding and a mind open to the unfathomable, let us carry this knowledge forward into our further investigations.

If you find yourself unwell seek professional advice before it is too late! All people harbour the potential for poor mental health, talking is the first step on your journey my friend.

Beginning your journey can be the hardest battle of all, especially when it feels like you're walking the path of self-destruction. Imagine being just 9 years old, still a child, facing what seemed to be the gloomiest day of your life. Picture a bleak winter's day in Canning Town, emotions running high as you make your way to Rowland Court. Climbing the stairs to the top floor, you turn right and walk halfway down the landing. It was then that the weight of the world pressed down on you—a moment you considered ending it all, yet lacked the courage to follow through. Brave or not, that day stands as the saddest in memory.

It's not about being a coward it's about surviving the saddest day of my life.

Satan manipulates my thought processes too, even now he is trying to tempt me to suicide to stop me doing what I need to do. His cunning lure magnifies my emotional distress, Satan knows and so do I that those that suicide are diverted into a repair programme to purify the soul and I believe that in severe trauma all memories are cleared. Suicide is so tragic and the mark of troubled souls. However, if you commit major sin in your suicide then the Valley of Death becomes your existence. There you will crawl in the darkness with all the other crawlers.